


Death had never been so sweet

by Quill_of_the_Albatross



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: A - Freeform, Angst, Brambleclaw - Freeform, Canon Divergence, Dark, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Gen, Lives, SO, StarClan (Warriors), Suicide Attempt, asshole, interferes, is - Freeform, leafpool is, regretful, snarky, squirrelflight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 17:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quill_of_the_Albatross/pseuds/Quill_of_the_Albatross
Summary: “Leafpool, I never thought death would be so sweet.”Leafpool looked worryingly at her sister’s suspended paw, “No, you never... Squirrelflight..."





	Death had never been so sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by an amazing AMV's and PMV's about Squirrelflight. Namely Thistles and Weeds (one of my favorite mumford and sons songs):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MiqR2yg-WE  
> and Feelings are fatal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isd0bCz0OHo
> 
> Squirrelflight is my favorite character, if you don't like her I respect that, but I believe her character development to be one of the most realistic.
> 
> The Warriors series belongs to the Erin Hunter team.

Squirrelflight never thought of throwing her warrior life away, until Hollyleaf's confession and ultimately her death. It shook Squirrelflight to the core, ever since that gathering, ever since those words that sealed her and her sister’s fate, her insides felt like they couldn’t stop quaking.

 

Perhaps she had brought this upon herself, to continue to protect and take blows for Leafpool no matter the cost, but to the hot-headed queen it was like a lifelong duty she needed to fulfill.

 

Her brooding led her to a bramble branch, which she promptly was shaken back to the real world in the form of a head-on smack. Warm, sticky liquid ran down the side of Squirrelflight's face. Her patrol stopped, some of the younger warriors sneering at her, “Maybe we should just let her bleed out, she’s no use to the clan like this.”

 

“Yeah. Traitors should be left for dead.”

 

Sandstorm growled, tail lashing at the rudeness of the warriors, “I will not have such talk in my patrol, Squirrelflight, go back to camp, there are a few thorns sticking out of you, I think it’s better if you go to see Jayfeather.”

 

_Oh Starclan, this is the last thing I’d want._ The dark ginger cat simply nodded and plodded back to the gorse entrance.

 

Well, Jayfeather was out, and Brightheart stepped in instead. Squirrelflight was more than grateful for this change of face. Once the ginger and white queen had left to attend to her other duties. The warriors' words back in the forest once again had set her quaking, it was true: she just couldn’t seem to be able to do anything.

 

The she-cat perused the neat piles of herbs and berries, just by interest, not with intention. However, in the darkest corners of the den, dried out crimson berries in a haphazard heap, looking as fresh as the day they were plucked from the bush... Looking as if they had recently been dredged out and hastily tidied away again.

 

Squirrelflight did not bother with the reason for this; perhaps Jayfeather was in a rush. She left her foster son’s den in a similar fashion. The warriors' den was quiet; she needed to distance herself for a while from the daily Clan hustle. Her nest had moved from the near center to the very edge by the entrance, Squirrelflight didn’t mind, after all, she believed she deserved what she got.

 

Leafpool, having been relieved of her medicine cat duties, moved in next to her on the fringes of the warrior society. Squirrelflight's keen eyes picked out a cluster of shrunken berries in the nest, scarlet fire dancing on the flaccid skin.

 

_Right, Hollyleaf gave those to her in her outburst._

 

It surprised Squirrelflight that her sister was keeping something that bore ill will to her, especially in a place where they could easily crush into her fur and therefore causing accidental ingestion.

 

Green eyes met amber, cool and unblinking. Brambleclaw curled his lip, “Oi, Squirrelflight, shouldn’t you be patrolling?”

 

“I got three thorns in my face, I’m resting, okay?”

 

“Fine.” the dark tabby tom stalked off, his hurt clearly suppressed, but Squirrelflight could read him like an open book.

 

Brambleclaw was the worst.

 

They had both grown out of the days of snarky remarks and rebuttals alike. It reminded them of a time when nothing really mattered, out of taking in her nephews and niece and dying she’d now probably take the latter.

 

With a deft claw, the ginger she-cat lifted the cluster of death from her sister’s nest into her own. Squirrelflight leaned forward to give the berries a good sniff, to her surprise, it was sweet.

 

Sickeningly sweet.

 

The dark ginger queen stood up to stretch, and suddenly the aroma became much stronger. Scared stiff, Squirrelflight leapt out of her nest, careful not to let her paw touch the floor of the den.

 

“Oh, now you’re up. Would you please go hunting, the clan needs food?”

 

Squirrelflight let out a nervous pant, eyes rolling to stare at Brambleclaw, “Y-yeah.”

 

Jayfeather had since returned, his keen nose picking out the scent of death lingering on his aunt’s paws. He wanted to cry out to her, but he decided against it, he could care less if Squirrelflight died.

 

The ginger she-cat limped in a three-legged walk into the forest; the sun was just beginning to tint the mountains orange when she reached the lake. Her white forepaw dripping with carmine liquid, in the diminishing light, it almost looked like blood.

 

_Would it be better if I diluted the juice with water, or should I just wash it off and throw myself into the lake... or...?_

 

But the warrior cat knew that there was no sugar-coating death, especially when you were staring it in the face. Squirrelflight sighed, her glassy green eyes staring defiantly at the dusk stars, _Well Starclan, I hope this is what you want._

 

She thrust her muzzle forward, her jaws opening to let her tongue lick her paw clean.

 

“Squirrelflight, stop!”

 

Leafpool padded urgently to her sister’s side, “Squirrelflight, what are you doing?”

 

“The clan wants me dead, so I’m doing them a favor.”

 

The brown tabby queen shook her head, “That’s not true!”

 

Silence met her ears, Squirrelflight sat, unmoving and mute. Leafpool spoke again, “I-I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.” Squirrelflight sighed, she would not let her brash anger get in the way, not now.

 

The sisters sat in silence, watching the sun slip below the horizon, and Silverpelt slowly shimmer into view. The hot-headed sister broke the hush, “Leafpool, I never thought death would be so sweet.”

 

Leafpool looked worryingly at her sister’s suspended paw, “No, you never... Squirrelflight, please, think this through! It never had to be like this, it’s all my fault!”

 

“Please Leafpool, just let me die. I’ve lost all that I’ve loved. I’m glad to know that my family still care, albeit the hostility of the clan towards us. But really, I’m so tired Leafpool, I’m so tired of Brambleclaw and defending you and trying to put up this strong shell that seems indifferent. I want to rest, Leafpool, forever.”

 

Leafpool listened, jaw slightly slack at the honest confession, “Then don’t defend me, then stop caring for Brambleclaw, stop being strong. You can be weak for once.”

 

“It’s not that easy! I care for the clan; I care for everyone who was close to me. These problems won’t go away if I stop caring, I can’t afford to be weak, not now.”

 

“You can be weak.” Leafpool murmured softly, “It only makes you a cat.”

 

Squirrelflight shook her head, ready to protest when Leafpool spoke for the last time that night, “Dying won’t solve these problems either.”

 

The tabby turned away, bounding back to camp. Squirrelflight dipped her head, letting her paw rest in the cool water of the lake, “I guess I’m not joining you yet, Starclan.”

 

An otherworldly glow reflects onto the water, it is not the moon, and the dark ginger cat looks up with alarm. Her shocked expression crumbles into a snarl of contempt, “Yellowfang!”

 

“Let me talk!” the medicine cat barked, “There is still a hope for you and Brambleclaw.”

 

“I cannot give him the family he wants.” Squirrelflight cried, her voice breaking with anguish, “I am the cat he would trust the least now, what future for me is steeped in darkness.”

 

Yellowfang sniffed, “The plans of Starclan do not intend for your time to come tonight. Return to camp, resume life as normal. But I must agree with young Leafpool, dying will not solve any problems.”

 

“Tch. You’re just saying that now! Are you just readying the clans for more hurt and betrayal?”

 

“Never would Starclan bear such ill will towards the clans!” Yellowfang snarled, “All this is to prepare for a darker time to come.”

 

Squirreflight’s eyes widened, her fur bristling in the light of the ferocious medicine cat, “Wha-?”

 

“I’ve said too much.” Yellowfang flattened her fur, “Fret not Squirrelflight, you will be happier in the future, I promise.”

 

The Starclan cat faded, the blaze over the lake dissipating into dark choppy waters. The warrior cat stood up, shaking her paw dry, all traces of death now washed away.

 

Squirrelflight plodded back to camp, her steps heavy, _A darker time... let’s hope Thunderclan is ready for it._

 

“Squirrelflight! Where were you? Did you bring back anything?”

 

She was just outside the gorse tunnel when she spotted a pair of glinting amber eyes, she didn’t need any guesses to know that it was Brambleclaw, “No. I was busy... thinking about things by the lake. I’m sorry; I’ll catch an owl if you want.”

 

The amber eyes softened for a brief moment, Squirrelflight caught it, and there, outside camp, she broke in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone notice the Twenty One Pilots reference?  
> Also, I didn't really know how to make "It only makes you human" work in the sense of cats, any suggestions?


End file.
